An American Story
With Italian Embellishments
By Donna Ettkin, Creative Needle Senior Contributing Editor

"Just promise me one thing when you go to Italy…don’t fall in love with an Italian!" 

This was a shockingly uncharacteristic message for my friend Helen Smith to give to Julie, her first-born child, as she embarked upon her study-abroad program with Brandeis University. At least, that’s what I thought until Helen told me the rest of the story. Her response to Julie’s mystified "Why?" makes sense to any parent of a well-loved child…

"Because he lives in Italy!"

Helen loves Italy and just about everything Italian, especially the people. She also loves Julie and couldn’t even contemplate the possibility of her living an ocean away. 

The magic of Italy captivated Julie as it had her mother, and, following her graduation, she charted a course that would take her back there as a guide for a major American tour company. She lived in Florence, then in Rome, and, eventually, her company promoted her to head up planning and coordinating all their tours to Italy. Her professional life and her private life were rich and full and provided her with opportunities to develop lifelong friendships with a diverse group of people. In due time, she met and fell in love with…Guido Bartoloni, an Italian from Rome. 

Julie and Guido’s wedding was joyous. In addition to doing all the planning and arrangements for a storybook affair at Titignano, a 16th century castle on a mountaintop in Umbria, about an hour from Rome, the couple wrote the ceremony in Italian and English, assigning corresponding readings to Italian-speaking and English-speaking family and friends. The outdoor ceremony took place the afternoon of Saturday, April 8, 2000, on the castle grounds overlooking vineyards and a lake in the surrounding valley. One of many highlights of the event on that brisk, sunny day was the 6' x 6' Chuppah, the wedding canopy under which the ceremony took place. 

In the sunshine on that mountaintop in Italy in April, the Chuppah seemed to glow with a special kind of light. To me, it seemed to flow from all the love and good wishes that emanated from everyone in attendance. The Chuppah is a traditional part of Jewish weddings that signifies the home–the homes each came from, the home they begin on their wedding day, and the House of God that they are always part of. Julie is Jewish. As an Italian, Guido is Catholic since that is the state religion of Italy. Together, they incorporated meaningful elements from both religions and other faiths in their ceremony, encompassing the most loving and inclusive of the infinite variety of humankind’s beliefs. When the ceremony was complete, there wasn’t a dry eye among us. 

Making the Chuppah
Julie had been looking for a way to include all those she cared about in her special day. I’d shared with her mother the story of a wedding quilt my sister-in-law had been asked to contribute to in honor of a friend’s soon-to-be-married daughter. Helen told Julie about it and the adventure began. About six-eight weeks prior to the wedding, Helen and I cut out and mailed 81/2" squares to friends and family of Julie and Guido (from just about every continent) requesting that they embellish the squares as they wish in a manner that would evoke their fond memories of the couple and/or any wishes they wanted to share with them for the future, and then return them in the prepaid envelope included in our mailing to them. Of the approximately 100 squares mailed, 70 delightfully unique squares were returned to us. We arranged them using a flannel quilt wall that we hung in Helen’s den. We put Julie’s parents’ square and Guido’s parents’ square in the center of the quilt and surrounded them with squares from extended family members and friends. Using 2"-wide blue satin ribbon as sashing, I pieced the quilt top together by machine. I made a bias binding for the edges and a sleeve for hanging that I attached to the back of the quilt. Fortunately, Elaine Ensign, an experienced quilter and friend of Helen and me, jumped in to help finish the quilt, which we tied rather than stitched once the quilt "sandwich" was complete. 

This was the first and only quilt I ever made, so mistakes were made. Among them, not allowing enough time between receiving the completed squares and the day of the wedding; and, since this was the first thing I’d sewn in a long time, I forgot about keeping on "grain," so the squares were…interesting to work with. I had to do lots of compensating. But, it was all worth it in the end. Many folks chose to reproduce photos on their squares. Others, those not frightened by the task, stitched a variety of meaningful themes to their squares, including red-sequined ruby slippers because Julie loves the Land of Oz stories; many orange, yellow and green squares because Guido loves those colors; and an impressive leather patchwork square stitched by a friend of Julie’s who’s in the fashion business in Paris. Some relatives of the couple made heirloom squares in loving memory of deceased family members, and some talented folks used fabric paint markers to draw great cartoons of Guido and Julie with appropriate poetic explanations in Italian or English. 

For me, it was a solitary task and stressful because of worries that I wouldn’t get done on time and then, that I might lose it when I carried it with me on the plane to Italy. No worries in the end. The finished canopy made its public debut when we hung it on the wall of the castle’s main hall for the Rehearsal Dinner that was held there. That was a surprising, thrilling event because it was the first time anyone other than the few of us who worked on it got to see the completed product–even Julie and Guido hadn’t seen it because they were in Rome while we were working on it in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Everyone’s response was wonderful, especially when they found their squares. For me, it was a true labor of love for the Smith’s, who are my family’s "Family by choice." 

Smith-Bartoloni Family Update
Five years later, the Smith-Bartoloni family has expanded to include Lorenzo, a charming little redheaded boy who will be two-years old this coming April 8th (yes, the same day his parents were married). So, you might ask, "Do the Smith-Bartoloni family–and their wedding canopy–reside an ocean away, as Julie’s mama feared?" Actually, the Chuppah has pride of place in their master bedroom, where it hangs on the wall behind their bed, and is one of Lorenzo’s favorite playthings. Much to the surprise and delight of Julie’s parents, that master bedroom is NOT an ocean away. It’s in the home they own in a village a few hundred miles away–near Boston, Massachusetts, in the U.S.A.